After reading ... blog posts ... and friends comments and ... just seeing people grow, it makes me realise how much, I don't know, how much ... we've left behind I guess.
These are just my thoughts. Numbered ... for my logical thinking.
#1 I am envious of some (one), that exceed my dreams, my expectations. What I always wanted to do. I hate how I just feel as if I'm just watching someone live out what I want to be. The one thing I really actually hate stems from jealousy. I mean what can I do? I can't be someone I'm not. But I want to be the WHOLE me, the potential me... ? I guess. My personality just holds me back.
#2 I love to read your thoughts, no matter how close or "just friends" we are. It makes me feel I know a different side to you other than just who I know you as at school.
#3 As much as people say that I'm smart, clever, asian nerd: I'm distracted and easily amused. I dislike how people think I'm smart just because I'm asian. I do have a life, thank you.
#4 (elaborating from #1) You know that feeling you get you're not quite the person you want to be.
#5 I don't know if I can live up to the expectations that my parents think I'm at.
#6 The global convention at church on Sunday made me realise how LITTLE I'm doing for His kingdom, and how much I make the world revolve around me. How selfish I am. How ignorant I am. The world is so BIG.
This blog is illogical, maybe irrational. But bottomline is that ...
Maybe I'm just not meant to know everything at once.
Maybe He's just leaving me in mystery.
Maybe. I'm just too young now to understand.
♥
k.
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